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God’s the Gardner
God’s the gardener and He needs to pick the weeds out. The weeds of doubts. The weeds of the lies that you tell yourself. If you let Him pull out the weeds from your life, there is more space for His love and more space for Him to help you along the path that He has prepared. Maybe you feel as if your garden is full of weeds and nothing good can ever come from it. Let Him work in your garden (heart & mind) to restore your bed to a more natural way. Letting God is difficult when you don’t feel like you measure up or if there is…
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Interrupt
I knew I was struggling, I just didn’t know how much I was struggling until I took a moment to stop and pause. The last couple of years have really been a lot. My anxiety has definitely increased. I knew I needed to figure out the cause of my heart palpitations. They seemed random. I could tell that when I felt out of control, they were worse or increased in frequency. So I started to interrupt the cycle. Just a little at a time. I started with a daily devotional book, Jesus Calling. Then I introduce another daily devotional via the Bible app on my phone. Then I introduce mediation.…
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The Light God Left On
I wrote this piece many years ago now. I re-read it today and wanted to post this message: Off in the distance you see a bright light shining. You begin to walk towards it not knowing that what to expect. The closer you get to the light the brighter it gets. Fear sets in when you are so close to the light that you can almost touch it. You get scared and stop in your tracks not knowing if you should continue walking towards the light. But for those that have walked even closer to the light, they have gotten a reward that is so amazing that it cannot be…
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Surrendering Control
The past few months have been a struggle for me personally. I have spent several moments with God in the waiting room or doctor’s office in the past few months. More than I have wanted to, but it has been necessary to try to track down what is happening with my body. I have been struggling with pelvic pain off and on for a few months now. Every doctor visit I have had I have spent time in prayer while waiting for the doctor to enter the room. And it has given me so much peace knowing that He is in the room with me every time I have to…
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Anticipate Him
Laying in my bed with three fleece blankets and my quilt all on top of me I was very snuggly. However, I was awake. The clock across the room was staring back at me mocking me with its bright red numbers; 2:34. I laid there for a bit longer. Then I decided to plant my feet on the ground and make my way to the bathroom. Once I was done, I made my way back to my snuggly bed. I laid back down slowly. Once back in my bed with all four of my covers on top of me I could feel that my nose was dripping a bit. Worry…
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Reflecting
Across the water I look and I see the sun reflecting upon the water. It is so beautiful, so refreshing, and rushes in calmness amongst my soul. I look deep within myself and wonder what it is that I am reflecting back to the world. Do they see you? Do they see kindness? Can they see my joy? What is it that everyone sees when they look at me? Maybe they judge me because they know that I love you. Could it be that they can’t see any of you when they look at me? I wonder how I am reflecting myself to the world. I look back upon how…
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In Alignment
I recently was reflecting back upon the time in my life when I was applying to colleges. Despite the fact that was a while ago, I clearly remember the Holy Spirit nudging me about a Christian college. I shrugged it off. Being the “smart” high schooler I was I thought I was smart enough to make my own decision on this very big life decision. So I applied to the schools I saw fit and in line with my plans. Eventually I landed on one. I made my way to that college in the fall. I felt out of place and just couldn’t fit in. While I was there God was still…