I’m Ready Now

I wait. I listen. I’m on this journey. Sometimes it doesn’t go the way that I envision it. But you see the big picture. You know what is next in this journey. You have given me the strength to take the next steps. What I didn’t know is that you have been putting this on my heart for years. Maybe it’s been part of your plan and I was trying to take a different path. I’m ready now.

I’m ready to make peace with the next step. It means that I have to make peace with coming to terms of not being a biological mom. I’m ready to be a mom. I’m ready to adopt. Even as a teenager I had adoption on my mind. I don’t know why I thought about that as a teenager, but I did. I’ve thought about it more as an adult because of my heart defect. I would be at a bit higher risk because of my defect if I were pregnant.

I also never thought I would be a single parent, but I’m choosing to move forward on this journey. I know that I’m taking the step God has next for me. I feel strong. I feel brave. I feel at peace with my decision. I know it will be tough. I know God will help me.

It’s hard to give up on dreams you had for your life and how it maybe could have been. But I’m ready to forge a new vision for my life because I believe it’s God’s path for my life.

Had you told me a year ago that I would feel ready to take on this life challenge I would have said that you were nuts. God has given me a lot of strength that has prepared me for this moment right now. I’m ready to tackle this journey.