Eyes Wide Open

Hi there! It has been a while since I last posted, and boy the world sure has changed! Honestly, I think it has taken me some time to get used to the way things are now. It is like a storm rolled through and I am still recovering from the aftermath of that storm. Here is what I know though: God is good. You can choose to be happy. You can also choose to be mad. You can choose to accept the way life is now. Through it all, God will be by your side no matter what. Choose to live your life with your eyes wide open.

This time that we are living in may cause you to step back and evaluate your life as it is. I have chosen to focus on the good. What is good right now? People sharing their generosity in the ways that they can: chalk art, good deeds, donating money, and decorating windows. Finding toilet paper. Let us be honest, yes, there is joy that can be found when you finally found toilet paper this spring. Did you ever think you would have to worry about such a thing? Having a way to connect with others virtually. Finding unique ways to connect with others. Choose to live your life with your eyes wide open.

For me, I have taken the eyes wide open thing to a new level. I am choosing to embrace whatever is thrown my way. I recently stumbled upon a health coach who is helping me manage my symptoms. My OB/GYN thinks that I may have endometriosis. Now, that can only be diagnosed surgically, and honestly, I am just not there yet. So, for me, this means symptom management. I had been finding that I was bloated a lot, especially after eating. I started seriously tracking my food intake and journaling my symptoms. I saw a pattern. Almost always after lunch, bloated. Now what was I eating at lunch. Usually deli meat on bread with grapes. I started picking apart my lunch and spacing out the items to see if I could figure out which one was causing my grief. I found it! Processed meat. See you later processed meat. I have been good about reducing my meat intake and limiting to only “good/pure” meats instead. This has helped tremendously. So, yay! Now I am feeling rather good most of the time with the bloating, but this has allowed me to “see” that the pain is still very much real. It was being covered up by the bloating. This is unfortunate and I do not have a good way to manage it yet. Surgery is still very much in the back of my mind.

There is another good thing in my life. Here is where God showed up for me. I have been praying and waiting so patiently for a guy to enter my life (for like forever). Anyways, one day I received a wink on a dating app from a guy. I viewed his profile and was intrigued. I messaged him back using their ice breaker questions. We messaged for at least a good week or so. Then he kept liking different pieces of my profile on the app and I would go and view his. Finally, I saw that he could not actually send me a message but had hidden his email address amongst his profile. I was a cute fun way to connect offline. We have been texting ever since. I am approaching this with my eyes wide open hoping and praying that this guy is indeed the answer to my prayers. Just maybe he has been the one I have been waiting for.

What I am trying to say, is see things more than what you can physically see them. Feel them. Hear them. Touch them. Taste them. With ever sense experience that moment. You will be amazed, because likely, you have not been experiencing life with your eyes wide open. Just wait until you experience those moments like that. I imagine that is how God “sees” things.