Be a Unicorn

She made her way into the crowd of people. Recognizing only one face in the sea of many, she glanced down at the ground. Thoughts rushed into her mind like: am I supposed to be here? Is this the right place and time? I hope can find someone I know. Then her heart started racing and her palms got extremely sweaty, which she then inserted into her pockets. Soon, she made her way to the nearest wall and leaned against it, hoping that she could blend in. The awkwardness crept in even further as more and more people entered into the space. She desperately searched the crowd for a familiar face and there was only once face she recognized. She tried hard to sink more and more into the wall and not to stand out. It was hard for her not to want to escape back into her car. But she put on her bravest face and stood as tall as she could in that moment.

This often feels very real to me and I hate standing out. As a Christian, God calls us to stand out, or what I am calling “Being a Unicorn”. Often, this causes a lot of anxiety and I would much rather be within the crowd than to be standing out on my own as the unique unicorn I am. Dare to be different! Dare to stand tall. 2 Corinthians 10:12 (NLT) says: “Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!” I can’t honestly say that I don’t get caught up in the worldly views and wants, but somehow, God always brings me back to Him. “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (Galatians 1:10 NLT). This verse reminds me why I need to stand out. And it brings me to why I decided to write about being a unicorn.

It is hard being a unicorn, don’t you think so? Often times I find myself embarrassed, hiding from my true self or the path that God has laid out for me. This next section is extremely personal, but I would not write it unless I knew for sure that God was calling me to do so. The hardest area to be a unicorn in for me is abstaining from sex. I promised myself and God when I first surrendered my life to Him that I would wait until marriage. So far so good. But now that I am in my mid-30’s, I seem a bit odd to others. There are those random guys that know that I am waiting, but still offer up a hook-up. It can be tempting, but I remind myself of why I am waiting and that I don’t just want a hook-up to say “just get it over with”. That isn’t me, nor do I want it to be me. I often find myself embarrassed that I haven’t had sex yet. This recently came up for me because I had to visit the gynecologist for an infection. Oh, do I hate those forms they make you fill out! But yes, checked the box for not sexually active. And then there is the next box, birth control method, hey, they actually have a box for abstinence. Easy peasy! None the less, I sometimes feel judged or that I am looked at weird because of this fact about me. But here is what I declared in recent days that I think is going to help me change my personal perspective on this. My declaration: I am a unicorn. I love that I am a unicorn, especially in this area of my life! I love the fact that I have held true to my promise to the one that I love the most. I have chosen to be obedient in this area of my life. It is hard, I can’t even admit for a second that there hasn’t been those times where I would love to change this fact about me. But what I know from waiting, is that there is just so many other areas of my life that have exploded with goodness because I am choosing to wait.

Being a unicorn can come up in other areas of your life to while living the life God has called you to live. The other area that I struggle with is always putting on my faith clothes metaphorically speaking when in the presence of people I’m not sure are Christians. I find it hard to live out my faith as “loudly” as maybe God wants me to live it. The largest and most personal struggle for me has been with my parents. They don’t know God like I do nor would I call them Christian, even though they will say they believe. It is hard to stand out like a unicorn here. For these people raised me and brought me into this world. It is hard talking about my faith with them, so much so that I just don’t. But I want them to know Him like I do. It is hard though. I respect them and I respect the reasons why they have issues with church or just Christians in general, because I see it too. Those Christians that are hypocritical. Those are the ones that they see. Those are the ones that make them question if anyone is truly following God. And then they question when bad things happen in the world or their lives. I totally get it, I do. God has taught me a lot through the years and I have learned to rely on Him in the tough times. He has gotten me through some really rough stuff. I wish they had that, I wish they could see that. I don’t know how to share what He has done for fear of judgment or questions that I can’t answer. So yes, I hide my faith as much as I can. I know that I have a lot of personal growth that needs to happen here. I also believe that God has called me to be in this family for a reason and that one day He will help me bring the sheep back. Until then, all I feel like I can do is pray about it. Pray that their hearts will be soften. Pray that they can see more of Him. Pray for opportunities to silently show my faith to them.

How has He called you to be a unicorn? Do you dare to stand tall in the midst of a world that is calling us to fit in? Do you let your light shine for Him? Do you live in His love? The love that is unfailing, the love that is free! Isn’t it amazing? I think so! I love that He has given us so much to live for and that He provides forgiveness. Never ever, be ashamed for living out God’s path for your life. Choose not to be embarrassed following after His will. It is okay to talk about these things with trusted Christian friends. Everyone has their struggles. Knowing that others struggle with the same or similar things can help you through your weaker moments. I know that having Godly friends in my life, ones that will pray with me before a doctor visit I am dreading, is the best thing I could have. Those friends that will share with you how they waited and it was the best choice. I love having Godly friends in my life. I hope that you also have trusted Godly friends in your life that you can ask to pray with you. Stand tall my unicorn friends! Be a unicorn.