Seen – Part 3: Found

I finally chose to take the path that was lit up. I had been searching for a long time to identify that joy, the one that my classmate Lillian had. I searched long and hard. Finally, I decided to take the leap and put my faith in Jesus. I shared my decision with a few close friends. They understood. They knew me. My friends helped me along my journey initially, as they were all I had. A few months later I finally shared my decision with an adult, but in writing. I was a bit scared to do this, but the topic in English class that day hit me and I decided to write in my journal for class. I wrote for three and a half notebook pages! Before this point, I didn’t know exactly how to say who I was, but that journal entry started changing that for me.

I spent the next year or so settling into this new life that I had chosen. I started hearing the spirit guide me through tough decisions. One was extremely hard for me because I felt the spirit prompting me one way, but I didn’t feel quite ready yet for where the spirit was guiding me. I felt called to attend a local Christian college. I said this in my head: “no, I don’t know enough”, “I can’t even fill out their application” (needing a pastor’s reference), and “But then I will have to share why with my parents.” I wasn’t ready for this. I put off the prompting since I didn’t feel ready yet. Eventually, I ended up making my way there. It was the one of the best decisions that I have made.

The Christian college helped me grow in my faith. I stumbled upon a wonderful professor who was a great mentor to me. He helped build up my confidence. I learned a lot about myself and how I viewed myself from a Godly perspective. I took risks, including venturing to church and interviewing at Christian non-profits for a job after college. I believe it was here that I truly found more of who God was.

I found a God of love. A God who was always there no matter how I was feeling. A God of peace. A God of comfort in times of need. God, he is always there just like the stars at night. No matter how dark the night is the stars, they are always there, even if you can’t see them. This is like God, he is always there even if we can’t feel him. However, sometimes, like stars God is best seen in the proper environment. Stars are best seen in light free environments and God is best seen with an open mind and in the right circumstances. “But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.” (2 Corinthians 3:16 NLT)

When I finally “found” God, it was like my blinders had come off. There he was just waiting for me to say “Yes God, I am here and I am ready for you to take my life into your hands.” It was like a peace like no other that I had before. I found that joy that I had seen in Lillian so many years before. It was amazing! God guided me through tough times that last year of college. All I needed to do was to open up my eyes to you.