It Is All Yours

Open your eyes. I am here, right with you through it all. I came into this world just like you did. I paid the ultimate price. But you question me. Do you not trust me? How can that be? Every moment has been planned by me. My grace covers your sin. You have all of these questions. I gave you all of this free will.

I can’t explain it to you, but yes, I do question. I don’t always understand who I am. Through your lens I can see a bit of who I am. I am who you say I am. In you, I am made new. You have freed me. You have given me a future. I am a child of yours. How amazing is that? You have accepted me as is. No matter how many times I may wander away from you, you are always there when I find my way back. It is mind boggling to try to imagine just how much you love me and that despite that I have made mistakes that you will always accept me. It is through my faith and my own commitment to you that you have freed me from the mistakes I have made.

There are moments where I don’t understand why I must go through what I am going through. It becomes impossible to trust. The questions come every second and I don’t know how it can be that this thing that I am going through can be happening. I forget that you have it in your hands. I forget to trust you. To lean on you. To ask you for help. All I do is worry about something that is completely out of my control. I love to plan and I love control. When I can’t see the end goal or at least a path to that, it is hard. I have to admit that I forget that you are right there. And in you I can be free of that anxiety if I choose to give it to you.

I forget to live in THIS MOMENT. This very moment that is RIGHT NOW. I get caught up in the everyday life. I get caught up in my thoughts and questions. I wish you consumed more of my thoughts every day. Can you take over my thoughts? Can you consume me? I want to have more of you in my life. But for some reason, I don’t always make you a priority. I wish that wasn’t true. I want to have you be my focal point. I know you have given us all of this free will to freely choose you. Yes, you want us to love you. You could have easily designed it so that we didn’t have a choice, but you didn’t. You have broken through the darkness we often put ourselves in to show us your great love.

Before I knew you, you showed me a bit of who you are. Little by little you showed me more and more. Through other believers I saw more of you. I saw something that I wanted so much for my own life. Their joy was indescribable. All I knew was that I wanted that and tried to find a way to get to what they had. You truly did open my heart to you. I had all of the tough questions and life and why things happen the way that they do. I still do have some of those tough questions. After years of many ups and downs in life, I have learned I can trust you. Whenever I am struggling or forget, please remind me of the up moments. Let me remember why it is that I have faith. In it all, let me trust you.