Safe in the Drawer

In the morning I wake up and I look at myself in the mirror. I see my incredible green eyes. These eyes let me see who I am. I see myself in the mirror everyday that I forget that my eyes have little freckles. I was reminded today by a co-worker that I have these neat little freckles in my eyes. How unique are my eyes? But I forget that I have this feature. It is just a part of who I am.

I am reminded often of this song by Hillsong Worship called Who You Say I am. In my head the words “I am who You say I am” often repeats. How can I be who You say I am when I put my faith in a drawer. I open the drawer at church. I open the drawer with coworkers who also attend that church. The drawer abruptly shuts though when others who have either rejected you or I don’t know well communicate with me. I want to lock that drawer so tightly, never to be opened. In the drawer is my devotion to you and how you have changed me. In the drawer is my Bible and my daily devotional book. These are taken out when I choose to seek more of you. The drawer has years and years of notes, journals, and really, just all of my God stuff.

I don’t mean to keep you in the drawer, but it is what I have grown comfortable with. It is safe. No one needs to know what is in that first drawer. Tightly closed, only opened by me when I choose. I have chosen to wear my faith only when I choose. I have been hiding you in this safe place within the dark drawer. Over the years, I have chosen begin to open the drawer a bit here and there. The drawer now sees a bit of light.

It is hard to admit that I have placed you in this drawer, but I have. It is comfortable not to let those who might disagree with me see this part of me. I want everyone to like me. But you LOVE me. More than I’ll ever know. It is so amazing to know that no matter what you will love me. You chose to give your Son. Nothing says love more than that. The world will come and go. People will enter and exit my life. May I choose to open the drawer a bit more so that others can see more of you through me. Let that light shine. It will be uncomfortable to open up the drawer more and more so that what is in the drawer makes its way to a bookcase out in the open. I know that you will be there through it all.