Growing

Still Growing

I am still growing. You reminded me of that as I was scrolling through my Pinterest feed. I am okay with that. Growing means I am alive. Growing means I am changing. Growing means I am learning. Growing means that you care. Most importantly, growing means that I am getting stronger.

I am strong because of you. You fill me up with your strength. You care enough to remind me just how important I am by sending me little encouraging words through social media. You met me right where I am at.

Through self-reflection, I find you there coaching me through those tough moments. I beat myself up through comparison against others. The struggle is hard. I hate to admit that I am jealous, but I am. Jealous of all of those that are pregnant. You know how much my heart wants to be a mom, so it is hard to see so many pregnant. You take the time to remind me that I am important and that you laid out this great plan for my life. One that I don’t understand. One that seems confusing to me, but is so perfectly laid out just for me by your hands.

I have spent a lot of time in prayer and some time in your word to help me through. It still is tough, but when I am with you completely focused on you, I realize all I need is more of you. You are my rock. You guide me through those deep valleys and up on to the highest of mountain tops. You hear my cries. It is you who comforts me when I completely loose it. I took the time to unsubscribe myself from the dating sites which were too much for me.

The most important thing in these past few weeks has been focusing on me and on you. By allowing myself to focus on me, I am finding more of who I am. I am finding more of who I am in you. It doesn’t matter what so-and-so is doing. It matters what I am doing and what I am doing to further your kingdom. How can I make myself stronger in my faith so that I can fulfill what you have planned for me? It is inserting myself into those important faith and character building moments to help me. What is important to me right now in this moment is that I want to grow more. I am growing. I have grown. It is because of you that I have grown. And it is because of you that I will continue to grow.