10 Minutes

10 minutes. The clock shows that the time is 2:50pm. 10 minutes. 10 minutes to prepare myself for the phone interview. It doesn’t feel like a lot of time, but as I sit there waiting and reflecting I can’t sit still. I move about the house looking to fill the time, even though I know I should be just reflecting on the job I applied for and the phone interview which will start in 10 minutes. I have been feeling so lost and a complete mess. So I took some time to focus on you during this 10 minutes. I close my eyes and begin to pray. I ask you to guide me. I feel you come so near to me. It is a relief.

I open my eyes. The clock now reads 2:59pm. I prepare myself to answer the phone. The phone rings. I jump a bit. I answer the phone stating my name. The phone interviewer introduces herself and she begins to chat a bit about the position. She asks what I am looking for in a position. I begin to feel that the position is slipping away from reality. It isn’t the job I pictured. Just then, another door opened. She began to talk to be about the analytics team. We were talking about this for quite some time. We both agreed that the analytics role is a better fit. I realized then that the 10 minutes of silence I spent with you was worth every minute. You were all I focused on. I was trying so hard to hear your voice during this time. It is hard to be so silent and just be still. You gave me this peace and utmost confidence. It was all I needed to feel that you were near. I have been so distracted and forgetting to focus on you. All this time you were just waiting on me to call out your name. You were waiting for me to be still.

The distractions in life are many. The world is trying to tell us who we should be. It is so much pressure and causes so much anxiety. I can’t bear the weight anymore. So in this moment, at your feet, I lay down what society is telling me to be and do. I cry out for your will in my life so that I can fulfill your purpose. I don’t want to be ashamed of who I am. I am yours. I am yours. That is it. I have all of the love I need. I have all of the grace I need. I have all of the forgiveness I need. I have a sense of belonging in you. You are enough.